Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
