Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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