Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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