any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
