Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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