i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize