Can i not drive my cunt home
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
