i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
