return my video game
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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