he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You can't just leave with hair like that
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize