he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
