I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
In America we eat man semen.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize