Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
