I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
