good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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