yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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