I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
