giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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