I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
