Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
