i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
