Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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