google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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