Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
