can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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