dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize