What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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