If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got inside last night via doggy door
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
