this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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