The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't deserve a penis
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dear god my vagina.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
