just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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