dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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