He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The beer is more important than you right now.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
