worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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