Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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