Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
