Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
