oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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