"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
