That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
