I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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