How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need water and some morals
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