i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
