Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
