I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize