booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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