I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
