Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
