My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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