quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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