I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants