Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.