Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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  (970): I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious. http://tfl.nu/cwzo
  Replies (21) Good night (608) Bad night (4435) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long

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  (717): dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long http://tfl.nu/r5ag
  Replies (31) Good night (7093) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes

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  (203): i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes http://tfl.nu/2sgp
  Replies (14) Good night (4457) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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  (512): Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine http://tfl.nu/sllr
  Replies (7) Good night (2095) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am

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  (201): I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am http://tfl.nu/u8uu
  Replies (15) Good night (3711) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.

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  (678): I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong. http://tfl.nu/c8ur
  Replies (9) Good night (2729) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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  (860): I have no recollection of sleep choking you http://tfl.nu/6fhf
  Replies (8) Good night (1465) Bad night (2129) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"

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  (712): she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays" http://tfl.nu/bldx
  Replies (4) Good night (2351) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??

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  (304): Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away?? http://tfl.nu/5x5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1541) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET

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  (613): Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET http://tfl.nu/m2li
  Replies (6) Good night (1468) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!

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  (+44): Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/zew5
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good

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  (701): it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good http://tfl.nu/dzm0
  Replies (7) Good night (1222) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're kidding right?

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  (416): Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow? (613): you're kidding right? http://tfl.nu/5c4n
  Replies (9) Good night (2619) Bad night (413)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.

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  (425): Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming. http://tfl.nu/qdqz
  Replies (1) Good night (751) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care

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  (918): I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care http://tfl.nu/shwc
  Replies (1) Good night (1189) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt

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