barbara walters just said penis...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
