I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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