Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
  Replies (28) Good night (6895) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar. http://tfl.nu/limh
  Replies (8) Good night (4636) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them! http://tfl.nu/ovo7
  Replies (20) Good night (6471) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen. http://tfl.nu/0t44
  Replies (8) Good night (2932) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level. http://tfl.nu/cqt6
  Replies (12) Good night (4116) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins" http://tfl.nu/7zd1
  Replies (5) Good night (4115) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge. http://tfl.nu/ays0
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (1973)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float http://tfl.nu/pj8f
  Replies (12) Good night (2795) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore http://tfl.nu/mq1v
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (2071)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me. (978): Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex. http://tfl.nu/urbj
  Replies (2) Good night (1825) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it http://tfl.nu/st9u
  Replies (5) Good night (1022) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/kw7e
  Replies (5) Good night (391) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do. http://tfl.nu/63i1
  Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday http://tfl.nu/gvbn
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (201)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester." http://tfl.nu/tgsd
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (174)

Randomize