To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night