hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low