We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
