You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
