either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
