Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
