Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
