I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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