I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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