Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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