Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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