I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
