Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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