my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
